25 Things I've Learned by 25
This past November, I turned 25. On one hand it feels kind of momentous, kind of decisive. 25. It even sounds momentous. On the other hand, nothing’s really changed, and I forget that I’m another year older. But right in the middle of my 20s, now that things have slowed down a little bit from college and graduate school and entering the workforce, I’ve been feeling like I want to pay more attention to how I live my life - to be more intentional with my time, to design a lifestyle that I’m excited about, to live with purpose rather than just going through the motions and existing.
I spent some time reflecting on 25 things I learned by the time I turned 25. Obviously there are way more, but I tried to boil them down to the ones that have been most impactful for me and that I want to keep in mind this year and as I progress through my 20s.
So here we go:
Accept yourself for who you are. You are never going to be like anyone else. The sooner you start accepting that, the sooner you can let your true self thrive. You have so much to bring to the table as yourself. This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t be inspired by others, but rather that you do so for your personal growth rather than to change into someone else.
Find joy in everyday things. I get excited by anything and everything - easily amused, you might say. But these past two years, I found myself consciously appreciating those fleeting thoughts more … a radiant sunset, a trip to the grocery store, a couple minutes of silence to feel centered. Whatever it may be, those little things add up to creating the beautiful life you deserve to have.
You don’t have to be everything to everyone, but always remember that you mean something to someone. Don’t lose sight of your worth.
When you think of your setbacks as learning opportunities rather than failures, you take charge of your future. To not know everything or be good at everything means you have that much more opportunity to grow and expand your potential.
If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will. Establishing boundaries with your time, your skills, etc. allow you to forge your own path rather than get dragged along on a road that someone else is telling you to travel. Be intentional with how you give others access to your time, but of course being caring and considerate to those around you is so important.
Things happen to you for you. Maybe something happened that you didn’t expect, but there may be a lesson or a chance for growth behind whatever happened. Be patient with yourself and trust the timing of your life. Often, we are right where we need to be even if it’s hard to see why. I’m confident that you’ll come out stronger on the other side of it.
Comparison really is the thief of joy. I have a whole post dedicated to this coming soon, but wow does comparing yourself to others really take a toll on you. Like in #1, it’s a great thing to be inspired by others, but once inspiration starts planting seeds of doubt in you about your capabilities or leads to a sense of unhealthy competition with others, then it’s time to reevaluate your own goals and ambitions and rediscover what you want and what makes you happy.
Being in touch with your emotions is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. By understanding what you need and how you feel, you build trust with yourself and can serve yourself most effectively. Taking time to contemplate and reflect on your feelings is powerful in better connecting with yourself.
Courage isn’t not being scared - it’s being scared but doing it anyway. And along those lines, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It means you’re aware of your limitations, and you’re acknowledging what others have to offer. It takes courage to reach out, and it takes courage to take a step forward despite your fear or worries.
Leave room in your mind and heart for old friends to reenter your life. Some rekindled connections can be the most meaningful ones and the start of a new phase in your journey together.
Be a lifelong student. Always keep an open mind to learning. There is so much to learn, not just through school or your job, but also through conversations with others, books, experiences, travel, and so much more. Be mindful and attentive of your interactions with people, places, and other sources of wisdom as you go through each day.
Growth isn’t linear. You will feel stuck. You will feel unmotivated or in a rut. You will feel like you took two steps forward, five steps back. But throughout it all, through the plateaus and the dips, you are becoming more prepared to keep moving forward and upward. You might just not know it yet.
Sometimes you just gotta go for it. If your gut instinct says to do it, the spontaneity might just be worth it.
There is power in saying no. It’s okay to leave behind good opportunities so that you can make room for great opportunities.
Some of the most worthwhile experiences or adventures are the ones you might not have taken if you had been given a choice. When you’re put in a situation where you have to adapt, see how you can make the most of it. Accepting that you can’t control everything allows you to be open to change, shifts in mindset, and new opportunities - that you might have declined if you had an option.
You’re not obligated to prove anything to anyone. You don’t owe anyone anything. Your confidence in your abilities is what really matters. Yes, you may be tested at times (applications, exams, certifications, etc.), and you might feel like you have to convince someone of your potential. But at the end of the day, your journey is your own, and you don’t need acceptance or validation from anyone else.
Your worth is not based on your productivity. You are so much more than what you accomplish, what you make, or what you do. Your presence is worthy in and of itself. It’s good to be ambitious and to work hard, but it’s important to detach your self-worth from what you achieve so that you are proud of yourself in all scenarios.
The more you take care of yourself, the more capacity you have to take care of others. It’s not selfish to invest time in yourself. Do what you need to do to feel refreshed and recharged. And soon you’ll find that you’re in a better place to help others, too.
Don’t waste your time surrounding yourself with negative energy. It’s good to be patient, give people the benefit of the doubt, and even talk out your feelings if something upsets you. But you aren’t required to do so, and it’s totally okay to take space or walk away from people or situations that leave you feeling drained, unhappy, and insecure. Focus on the relationships that make you feel loved, motivated, and safe.
Fuel your body. Find what works for you and listen to your body. What’s healthy for one person might not be the best for you. I’m not a dietitian or a nutritionist, so I don’t want to say anything specific, but give your body the love and energy it needs to help you get through your day.
The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. Not caring about what others think is freeing, but it’s hard. When you go to bed each day, ask yourself if you feel like you’re better than you were yesterday. Your feelings and yours alone should guide your tomorrow, not what you think anyone else thought about you. But also be willing to take accountability for your actions, and give others room and understanding to do the same.
If it’s a close friend, you should be able to talk it out. The good, the bad, the feelings, the conflicts, whatever it is. You’ll feel comfortable talking things out to close friends - maybe not always, maybe not about everything because being vulnerable is hard. But for the most part, you should be able to have those deeper conversations about almost anything with genuine, close friends.
Sometimes the pieces of the puzzle are right in front of you - you just have to put them together. If you’re feeling lost, take a step back and think about all the different aspects of your life and how they fit together. Maybe you’ll find the answer you’re looking for to give you some direction.
Be vulnerable and be a listening ear. Opening up both helps you and creates a space for others to feel like they can do the same. You never know anyone else’s story. Spread kindness and compassion to others and yourself.
Find people who will always have your back no matter what. As you leave high school and college, it becomes harder to meet people around your age. Many of us in our twenties in the workforce especially know how hard it is to make lasting, significant relationships with other twenty-somethings as we all try to figure out our lives, whatever that means. I’ve learned the importance of finding friends who truly want the best for you, who’ll protect and support you no matter what. Identify those people in your own life, and remember to be that person for others, too.
Do you relate to these? Are there any other lessons you’ve learned so far (regardless of age) that you think are important for us to learn? Share in the comments so that we can keep these insights in mind as we all figure this out together!
P.S. If there’s anything I can do to make these posts or even the website more accessible, please leave your feedback below or email/DM me. Inclusivity is super important to me, so I’d love to make any adjustments to ensure this content can be accessed by all!