Starting Again … Again …
First I changed apartments, so now I’ll change my life right?
For the most part, I love change. I love inviting change into my life when I’m stuck in the same patterns. A change of scenery, a change of pace - you name it, I’m open to it.
Alongside change, I love the feeling of a fresh start. The end of July a few weeks ago was a big fresh start for me. Apart from entering a new month, I also moved to a new apartment. Physically moving locations felt like a reset button. A fresh new space, a new commute to work, and, hopefully, a new lifestyle.
The “Fresh Start Effect”
You might have heard of the “fresh start effect.” Behavioral science research has shown that temporal landmarks (i.e. significant moments in time) may impact motivation and goal-setting as they mark a new mental accounting period (Dai et al., 2014). I recently learned about this concept on an episode of The Mel Robbins podcast, and I read through a research article here.
I’m sure most of us have experienced this before - perceiving a temporal landmark (such as the new year, your birthday, the start of a new week or month, or even a big life change) as a shift in your identity. Maybe phrases like “new year, new me” or “the next chapter” have crossed your mind. Maybe you felt like a new school year was a fresh start. Maybe you moved cities or started a new job and felt like you could just “start all over.”
There’s this idea of mentally wiping the slate clean when encountering one of these landmarks. You might figuratively (or literally in your planners and journals) turn to a new page. There’s something so liberating and refreshing about closing the door on a version of yourself that didn’t align with what you want, about feeling like you get another chance to do it all over again, about putting your past behind you and looking toward the future.
Change can be the instigator of that fresh start effect. And a fresh start can, in turn, be an opportunity for more change. But that’s where it ends. The scene has been set, but you have to take it from there.
Some pics from the new apartment location:
Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes
My favorite little tough-love reminder lately has been “nothing changes if nothing changes.” I’ve been thinking about this all year. How wide-eyed and excited I was last December for the possibilities this year would hold. How I’ve been nonsensically confused about finding myself in the exact same patterns as last year when I’ve been acting the exact same way I did last year. How unfair it is for me to expect things to change in my life when I am doing absolutely nothing to change anything in my life.
I’ve thought about change a lot. But I haven’t actually changed anything at all.
And I’m not going to change anything overnight. Tiny actions, little decisions, and subtle course corrections every day are what will get me closer to this elusive change I’m so desperately seeking. I’ve been trying to break past inertia and limiting thought patterns to take advantage of this fresh start I have the privilege to enjoy.
Leading up to the move, I told myself it’s not just a fresh start because it’s a new month and a new apartment. It’s a fresh start because I’m choosing to have a fresh start.
A new month. A new home. A new mindset.
Letting Go of Your Past Self
One of the satisfying parts of separating yourself from your past identities with the fresh start effect is that you more easily let go of the past. For once, you aren’t thinking about how you let yourself down or how you might not be capable of doing something; you aren’t doubting yourself and weighing yourself down with your past behavior. You’re mostly focused on the future. You’re focused on this positive version of yourself. You’re picturing the dream, you’re picturing your success, you’re picturing who you want to be and know you can be. And that’s incredibly powerful.
As I [attempt to] embark on yet another journey of change, I’m focusing on letting go of the past but trying not to shut the door on it completely. I want to learn from my mistakes so that I can learn more about myself. I want to know why I fall back into the patterns I do. I want to know what’s holding me back from moving forward. I want to convince myself that I am capable of going after what I want and hope for myself - and the only way I can do that is by learning why I do what I do.
I've been journaling a lot to think through this - I pay attention to patterns, feelings, and the discrepancies between what I tell myself I will do and what I actually do.
Come Along for the Ride
I’m figuring out a lot of it as I go, and I’ll keep you updated on the exact exercises I’m doing and what’s working and what isn’t. I still need to write out concrete goals and action steps, but one thing I told myself was that I would get back into writing (and here we are, so we know at least something is working?!).
I’d love for you to follow along and share any tips and tricks you have for change or your experience with the fresh start effect. What’s something you’re trying to change in your life right now?
Stay on the lookout for related posts coming soon (because I WILL stay committed to writing!):
What If …?: A Mindset Shift
Are You Actually Changing or Just Talking About It? (with reflection questions!)
I Promised Myself I Would
Why Am I Like This?
Are You Scared to Go After Your Dreams?
P.S. If there’s anything I can do to make these posts or even the website more accessible, please leave your feedback below or email/DM me. Inclusivity is super important to me, so I’d love to make any adjustments to ensure everyone can access this content!