2022 Reflections
What a year.
I remember feeling like this year was finally moving at a normal pace (after 2020 trudged along until it sped through the last quarter of the year and 2021 just decided to never press the brakes). And then suddenly it was August and basically Halloween and holiday season and a new year. Although I felt that it was a tough year where I constantly found myself “being resilient and moving forward” (or, more aptly, “sucking it up and figuring out what to do next”), I am looking back at 2022 now with a lot of gratitude, understanding, and appreciation for what I have learned.
My word of the year in 2022 was decisive. To be honest, I’m not sure that I consciously paid attention to just how decisive I was throughout the year. I definitely made some decisions with which I am happy. I tried out living in LA for a few months, I traveled to Spain, and I completed a diversity, equity, and inclusion certificate program. I decided that rest and recovery were more important than meeting fitness (or other) goals and that just because something turned out to be different from what I thought didn’t mean that I wasn’t making progress.
A big theme of 2022 was acceptance. One of my guidelines this year was to “grow comfortable with the unknown and let go of control.” A lot happened this year that I didn’t expect - I injured my back, I ran into some other health issues midway through the year, I didn’t get to go back to school in the way that I expected. I had tough conversations with family and friends that, to some extent, I knew were coming but that I didn’t expect to affect me as much as they did. This was one of those years where I really felt like I was just trying to make it through each day. And I think I am more okay with that than I thought I would be.
I started contemplating more deeply about what matters to me - what excites me, what motivates me, what fuels and energizes me. I started picturing the future from the lens of what things could become if they work out, rather than thinking about how uncertain I am or how difficult it would be. I started thinking of myself as capable of creating the life I want to live and picturing myself living that lifestyle. And I feel so much more motivated and confident that I can do that for myself.
I would like for next year to be different - to feel like I’m not just aimlessly moving through my day but rather am using my time meaningfully. But I think I needed to feel lost, uncomfortable, and restless. I needed to face my challenges and decide what I could disregard and what I needed to push past, what I was chasing because I felt like I was supposed to (based on what the world around me was telling me) versus what was actually important to me.
I thought about doing an end-of-year goals check-in, but looking back, I don’t think much has changed from my mid-year goals check-in (I would definitely give that a read if you’re curious and also want some prompts to reevaluate your goals). Here’s what I will say instead: when living in a fast-paced world, it can often feel like there is some sort of pressure constantly weighing on you: pressure to work harder, to earn more, to buy fancier products, to travel more so you don’t “miss out,” but also to save more money simultaneously, to have a fitness routine and a skincare routine and a bedtime routine and a self-care routine, to be a better family member, to be a better friend, to be more social, to make time for everyone in your life but also to make time for yourself, and to do a million other things that you don’t even know why you’re doing but that if you dare skip out on one then there’s no possible way you are achieving your full potential and keeping up with everyone else [*finally breathes*]. Isn’t that just exhausting?!!
If you think you are in a period of stagnation, embrace it. Let yourself be lost and confused. Let yourself navigate those frustrating feelings that something just isn’t right and you need change. Let yourself wander and search for your passion. Let yourself crave that feeling of being driven, excited, and energized about something. Wherever your mind (or body, heart, soul, etc.) takes you, maybe that’s a sign of what you need. Not what everyone around you is telling you to do, but what you feel you need to do. And that stagnation isn’t really stagnation. It’s internal work, growth, and reflection. It’s finding peace and comfort again; it’s getting back to your values and your roots, stripped of the world’s never-ending list of demands and expectations from you.
Some days, months, and years, you might be crossing everything off your to-do lists and hitting your goals out of the park. In others, you might be reconnecting with yourself. Use both seasons to fuel each other. Value them equally. And most importantly, trust that you are right where you need to be and that you WILL figure it out. I’m hoping after this year (honestly, 3 years of feeling “stagnant”) that next year will be the former season - that I have reignited my spark and I feel ready to run toward what excites me. But I am confident that whatever happens, whatever I do, I am doing it with passion, love, and purpose. I hope you allow yourself to do the same.
Wishing you a wonderful 2023 ahead!
P.S. If there’s anything I can do to make these posts or even the website more accessible, please leave your feedback below or email/DM me. Inclusivity is super important to me, so I’d love to make any adjustments to ensure this content can be accessed by all!