5 Ways to Protect Your Peace

A few months ago, I posted a picture and captioned it with 3 ways to protect your peace. Throughout our lives, and especially in our 20s, we are constantly juggling a myriad of stress-inducing, energy-draining situations that can take us away from feelings of satisfaction, bliss, and serenity. I wanted to expand on these 3 ideas and add in a couple more.

To me, the ideal inner peace means living a life that aligns with your preferences, dreams, goals, joys, and wellbeing. In reality, it is difficult for every factor of life to be in direct alignment with what you want. People will upset you, your goals won’t always work out, you likely will experience some sort of sadness. So with all these uncontrollable factors, how can we have inner peace?

This is where the idea of protecting rather than achieving inner peace comes into play. I like to think of inner peace as a sort of equilibrium - amidst the chaos, we find our calm. It’s not so much a “thing” that we either have or don’t have. Rather it’s a state that we try to maintain - when we stray from our equilibrium, we have ways to get ourselves back to that state.

We protect that balance by learning to dispel and navigate through those factors that don’t serve us. We keep these factors as far away from our inner peace as possible. The closer they get to our inner peace, the harder we work to protect it. We learn to become proactive by setting boundaries, recognizing peace-disrupting behavior, and developing the mental fortitude and self-trust that we can go back to our equilibrium whenever the balance is disturbed.

Just like you might be if you are reading this, I am still learning how to protect my peace. Here are some ideas I have found to help me so far:

1. Know what brings you peace.

It’s kind of hard to protect your peace when you don’t know what your peace is. Discover your inner peace through reflection, observation, and better understanding of your own needs.

Here are some questions to consider:

• Reflect on memories upon which you look fondly. What were the internal and external conditions that make these memories warm and comforting? Who was there? How did you feel?

• Pay attention to the times you feel most content and calm throughout your day or week. What are you doing? What is your environment like?

• Write down ideas that you think would improve the quality of your life. It can be a daily habit, like lighting a candle every night, to something larger, like owning a business or surrounding yourself with certain kinds of people. Why is this important to you? How would it have a positive impact on your life?

Through these considerations, learn your baseline conditions for what constitutes inner peace for you. Take steps to further develop and maintain those conditions.

2. Create distance from any negative energy (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.).

Remove yourself from the source of stress, not to ignore or run away from the problem, but to clear the lens through which you approach it. Allow yourself to cool off and return to the situation in a reason-first vs. emotion-first headspace. Accept your emotions, process them, and understand why you feel the way you do. Why does this matter? Why does this make you feel the way it does? What would be needed to align with your inner peace?

Some ways to do this:

• go for a walk

• do an activity you enjoy

• journal your thoughts and feelings (so that you can map out and talk through the problem with yourself before approaching the issue head-on)

3. Distinguish among the weight of different opinions.

We often hear that the only opinion that matters is your own. This is ideal, but it’s hard not to be affected by others’ opinions. And, of course, sometimes others’ opinions and feedback can be valuable. Therefore, take note of whose opinions you really value (maybe those of certain family members, friends you feel inspire you and support you, mentors, etc.) and try to filter out the rest so you aren’t overwhelmed by different voices dictating your life.

4. Set boundaries, not just with others but with yourself, too.

I plan to write a separate post on setting boundaries as there are so many areas we can explore. But for now, I want to highlight a few thoughts.

It is important to set boundaries with others that align with the conditions that you have determined keep you at your equilibrium. Won’t be available outside your work hours? Don’t want to eat out more than once per week? Can only hang out on weekends because you want your weekday evenings to yourself? Whatever it is (and even if these boundaries change), be open and honest with those around you about what you need to protect your peace. The more you can take care of yourself, the better you can likely be to those around you, too.

But it is equally important to set boundaries with yourself, too. I don’t mean stick to a strict schedule and never let yourself waver. Listen to your body, take rest, be spontaneous. But don’t forgo the discipline you could have with yourself if it brings you closer to your peace. Let’s say that procrastination makes you feel restless and agitated, but you feel lazy or just want to scroll on your phone. Remind yourself that this short-term gratification comes at the cost of your inner peace, and you will feel better if you get what you need done. Establish boundaries for yourself, and be honest with yourself about when you are crossing or disrespecting them.

5. Practice letting go.

This might be one of the most powerful ones, albeit maybe the hardest. It can be so hard to let go of something (or someone) that no longer serves you. You can feel a sense of loss or grief that something or someone is no longer a part of your life. Change at any size or level can feel disorienting or confusing. However, the more comfortable we become with letting go and releasing attachment, the more adaptable and open we become to making adjustments in our lives that can better protect our peace.

Do you agree with these? How do you protect your peace? What disturbs your peace? Share below, email me, or DM me!

P.S. If there’s anything I can do to make these posts or even the website more accessible, please leave your feedback below or email/DM me. Inclusivity is super important to me, so I’d love to make any adjustments to ensure this content can be accessed by all!